Life’s Essential Ingredients: Kel Haney is the Holistic Outbound Fundraising Expert
Season 2 Episode # 15 Kel Haney coming from an island in Maine
Kel empowers individuals with the knowledge that they already possess the most critical tools needed to be skilled fundraisers (empathy, candor, vulnerability, enthusiasm, and storytelling). Kel uses her skills acquired as an accomplished theater director and how she leads a rehearsal room,… as her fundraising methodology – Kel’s methodology - focus on what makes each person unique and engaging. The results: Kel has raised over $10 million dollars for various performing arts organizations and other business and nonprofit organizations.
Kel divides her time between New York City and Maine. When not working, she likes to be physically active: yoga, bodyweight strength training, and long walks; she loves to cook, listen to podcasts (especially Life’s Essential Ingredients) & memoirs/personal development audiobooks. Kel, Welcome to the Show!
TOTD – “Sometimes we feel that what we do is just a drop in the sea, but the sea would be less if it lacked a drop.” - Mother Teresa
In this episode:
What was life like growing up?
I’ve always wanted to go to Maine, what is it like?
Your Life’s Essential Ingredients – best thing you do for you?
How did you get into acting, directing, theater…
What is it like to lead a rehearsal room?
How did it feel to get someone to donate a large sum to support an organization you believe in?
Getting over rejection… insights?
Tip for someone just starting out in fundraising. Best bang for the buck so to say…
Best way to tell your nonprofits story?
Reading the D, how do you know when to cut ties and seek out new donor opportunities?
All the info you need to launch a phone-based fundraising campaign.
Tell me about Donorly and how your organization helps raise money?
Legacy "The only thing you take with you when you are gone is what you leave behind." John Alston
Thanks for listening and enjoy the show!
Listen to Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lifes-essential-ingredients/id1544641566
Transcript:
[00:00:00] Jeff: Let's get it. This is Life's Essential Ingredients with Jeff and Mike, where we hope to inform, inspire, and transform lives, one essential ingredient at a time. Welcome to the show.
[00:00:22] Jeff: Now, listeners, man, we are in for another treat, and I know I say that every time, but Pascho and I, somehow, before the show even started, we got lobster, Pascho. We talking lobster baby on life's essential ingredients. Listeners, we are coming from an island, an undisclosed island, so we can't even let you know, but in Maine, where lobster is dropped off to your door.
[00:00:48] Jeff: Our kind guest has already invited us over. Pascho and I are swimming 12 miles out to the island. So we gotta start training now, Pascho. And just gonna have some lobster. But seriously Kel, welcome to Life's Essential Ingredients.
[00:01:04] Kel: Thanks so much, Jeff. It's great to be here with you too.
[00:01:07] Jeff: Well, she, too, what do you got to say about the lobster? Man,
[00:01:11] Mike: I don't know if Kel has any idea how much lobster you and I can eat. Oh, I hope all her neighbors drop them off when we get there.
[00:01:20] Jeff: Oh, it's going to be a great episode. So we have Kel Haney, coming again from Maine. She does split her time in New York. You can find her at kelhaney. com and it's K E L H A N E Y dot com or on Instagram at kelhaney.
[00:01:36] Jeff: So a little bit about Kel. Kel empowers individuals with the knowledge that they already possess the most critical tools needed to be skilled fundraisers, and some of those are empathy, candor, vulnerability, enthusiasm, and storytelling. Kel uses her skills acquired as an accomplished theater director and how she leads a rehearsal room as her fundraising methodology.
[00:02:06] Jeff: And that methodology is to focus on what makes each person unique and engaging, and I love that in itself right there. That's a whole episode just in that so many times we look at our deficits and not that the things that make us special. And I love how you already said people already possess that. So those results, Kel has raised over 10 million for various performing arts organizations. And other business and nonprofit institutions, Kel divides your time. Like I said, between New York city and Maine, and when not working, she likes to be physically active doing yoga, body weight, strength, training, long walks. She loves to cook and make lobster for Pascho and myself. She loves listening to podcasts, especially life's essential ingredients.
[00:02:52] Jeff: Thank you. Listeners again, we're in 29 countries now people listening all over the world and Kel also loves memoirs. And personal development, audio books, Kel, welcome to the show.
[00:03:06] Kel: Awesome. That love that intro. Thank you so much, Jeff. I'm psyched to be here.
[00:03:11] Jeff: Yeah, well, thank you for doing the work that you do. You know, Mike and I are just blessed to do this work, which is our community service and life's essential ingredients as part of a nonprofit called C4 leaders. And so we, just get to meet incredible people like you and, and not to sound too, too corny, but I'm already tasting the lobster partial.
[00:03:32] Jeff: So somehow with a little bit of butter. Yeah. And so Kel, we, we start each episode with a thought of the day. And this is one of my favorite parts. And, and I told you off air that Mike and I are, are basketball coaches. And I start my practice with the thought of the day. Worked as a nurse and started my last job was a nursing professor and started my classes with the thought of the day and just such a great way to get grounded and set the foundation for our case this show.
[00:04:03] Jeff: So here we go. It's it's said by Mother Teresa. And so no pressure on this already. You're just in great company is researching you. I went to mother Teresa to said, hey, this is this is what I felt with learning about you and the work that you do. Here we go. Sometimes we feel that what we do is just a drop in the sea. But the sea would be less if it lacked a drop and I'm getting goosebumps, but why would I pick that quote for you?
[00:04:36] Kel: I have a few reasons thoughts anyway, Jeff, I think part of it is I can't help it like our theme already is I split my time between New York, and this island it's actually called Chebeague its off the coast of Portland, and I'm surrounded by water all day. So that hits me in a particular way. I also think just that idea of that it takes individuals. And that is what I do is I train people how to fundraise and you know, like the base of what I do is really about making individual one on one connections. So it's about one person making that one connection with another person.
[00:05:13] Kel: It also gives me goosebumps because I always say as I'm training and I always encourage people whenever possible to fundraise together and let that be a collective conversation that I think the tide rises all ships. So I'm always just looking at like, like you read in your intro, like what makes each of us unique, how to find that in each other and that the more that we all are just really looking to each other of like, what is positive and what is specific and what is unique about the individual. So there's something about the individuality of each of us being another drop that I'm responding to.
[00:05:49] Jeff: Come on, Pasho. We're already going deep. We're talking lobster. Now we're talking uniqueness, this gift that we all have to share. And you were so articulate and I love it. So we are still 100 percent on these thoughts of the days. Yes, I love that. I love it. I love it. So obviously positivity and finding the gift in in each person has been a gift that you have. And how did you develop that? And does that have anything to do with how you grew up? So you can take, you know, any which way you want.
[00:06:27] Kel: Sure. Well, I mean, I grew up outside of Philadelphia and what was interesting about how I grew up is my parents got divorced when I was six years old. And so I spent the first six years of my life as the older of two children, my brother's three years younger. And then suddenly I found myself with a split household. My parents stayed in the same town. So I switched back and forth on a daily basis. Like every day was different. So I very rarely got up and went to bed in the same room.
[00:06:55] Kel: It was always switching back and forth. And at my dad's house, I suddenly had two older siblings that were five and 10 years older. So I went from being the oldest. So then half of the time being one of the two younger kids and being in the middle. So I think like when people talk about, oh, are you an oldest, are you a youngest, are you a middle, are you only I have a little bit of a combination of those things that I think just kind of made me more flexible and made me just more of a team player.
[00:07:22] Kel: I definitely am a leader by nature. I think like the first six years of my life, really solidified that in me is like, I love when I'm the one leading the room, but I also think that I have another light layer of empathy. And I think part of that is because there just was a malleableness that I needed in order to function in these two different households that I was in every day.
[00:07:47] Jeff: It's crazy how, how life happens. And obviously you're six years old and you don't know what the heck's going on. All of a sudden, everything is just turned upside down. And I'm sure the worst time in your young life and you're having all these emotions, but don't, probably quite know what they are and how to put a finger on them.
[00:08:13] Jeff: And then now all of a sudden, yeah, your role is the oldest and taking care of buddy. And now you're like, Hey, I'm the middle and you probably lost your identity quite a bit during that early period. And then somehow figured out, Hey, I'm just use this to be flexible. Take what's inside me my leadership ability.
[00:08:30] Jeff: This pain that I'm feeling from this divorce as you start to mature and realize that other people are experiencing a lot of these emotions and then it just goes back into, you know, your methodology, focusing on what makes each person unique and engaging. And so, yeah, that's just, very cool how you've taken some pain and turn it around to really make it your gift.
[00:09:01] Jeff: And I think we sometimes we run away from that feeling of pain and just seek pleasure too much and don't realize that that pain allows us to have this balance that our body needs to create homeostasis. And to appreciate, Hey, life is going good now. Hey, I'm going to just be here for this moment. Like when Mike and I get that lobster, we're going to appreciate that baby.
[00:09:24] Jeff: And then also to know, hey, that 12 mile swim to your house was some serious pain, you know, but it's worth it. You got to go through both of those things. And then for now, for you to take that and to help people raise money and do all the other great things, man, what a, what just a story in itself right there.
[00:09:47] Jeff: But this kid and I'm, I have no knowledge and I'm fascinated with what you do with your. theater work. How did you, how did you get into that? And I also want to, don't let me forget, I'm hoping you can just come to it, but get into like rehearsal room and managing that and what kind of goes on with that. But yeah, how'd you get into theater stuff?
[00:10:09] Kel: Sure. So I, I mean, it was just always with me. It's interesting that you say that I, that you asked me that question and that part of it's about my childhood, right? It's just from my earliest ages. I was like, wanted to always make the show, make the play. So I was always, if there was ever a group of kids around, it was a holiday, there were cousins or there were neighbors.
[00:10:30] Kel: I always wanted to go make the play and I wouldn't quite understand why after 20 minutes, other people would get frustrated and, and, or just bored or go do something else. And so I was always like, but that's what we do. It just made most like innate sense to me was if there's a group of people, we should be making a play.
[00:10:48] Kel: And if I didn't have people around, I loved the finger puppets that my grandmother knitted for me. I had all these finger puppets and my grandfather had made me a stage. And I also would tell stories to myself on audio tape that I would then play back and that I really liked to make stories like that.
[00:11:04] Kel: So it was always with me. I think it was my senior year of high school is when I. understood for the first time that somebody actually made theater as, as a living. So instead of going to high school for the last three months, I interned at People's Light Theater, which is a really great theater outside of Philadelphia in the suburbs of Philadelphia.
[00:11:22] Kel: And I had a great, teacher named Diane Mazar was my English teacher in high school who just really opened up the doors for me. And just actually like, just showed me that there were windows and that there were other ways to live in a more creatively driven, curious life than maybe I had known it existed before then.
[00:11:40] Kel: So yeah, I spent 16 years pounding the pavement as a theater director and then COVID hit. And I shifted to fundraising full time. So that had been something that I had done as my survival job, quote unquote as a 20 something in New York, I needed some kind of job to supplement my income as I was growing my directing career.
[00:12:00] Kel: So I started making phone calls. I started calling donors over the phone for my favorite theater. And I learned very quickly. I was very good at it because it was all the things I loved. I love connecting with people. I love being curious. I love talking about theater. My favorite thing with the people who also were excited about theater.
[00:12:19] Kel: So I ended up with this what started out as a supplemental career side hustle. However, you want to phrase it. And then slowly it became a parallel career. And then COVID hit and I started doing it full time and actually realized it was making me really happy and that that was okay, that actually, like my dream was shifting.
[00:12:37] Kel: And I always like to say that if the I like to say that if the treadmill hadn't stopped, which is how I look at how the shutdown hit particularly the theater industry. If the, if the treadmill had never stopped, I wouldn't have gotten off. But it was about that treadmill stopping that made me really look around.
[00:12:52] Kel: And, you know, I know like the podcast being about life's essentials, being like what actually is most important to me. And that started to shift at that time. So it's really exciting and interesting to see how different my life is than it was even two years ago at this point.
[00:13:08] Jeff: Man, I love it. I got to go back to you.
[00:13:11] Jeff: You said something that was really interesting and I'm taking notes the whole time, but you talked about a window, you know, and maybe this is just your, your theater, you know, background. But I think a lot of times when it ties in, I'm just maybe I'm making a connection that's not there, but I'm guessing it will be, but it ties into this treadmill.
[00:13:32] Jeff: Stopping, you know, and I think we can use covid and I'm not to downplay the seriousness of that and the effect that it's had on so many lives, obviously throughout the world and so many deaths. And so not be insensitive to anybody. And I am a nurse and my wife is a nurse and my oldest daughter is a nurse and they're in the thick of it.
[00:13:56] Jeff: But I do think there's a lot of positives. And I think sometimes when the door closes, if we can take some deep breaths and what I would call PBS pause, breathe and smile from one of my mentors, Joe Yoder and realize, okay, that door just slammed right in my face. And you can let that kind of knock you down, or you can maybe take some deep breaths and look behind you and say, well, wait a second.
[00:14:25] Jeff: I thought I was gonna be trapped in this room, but there's a window right there right behind me, and the sun is shining through that. And who knows what? What is going on outside there? And can I, just open that baby up and walk out and see what's there and I want to tie that into your, your treadmill.
[00:14:45] Jeff: Kind of the same kind of story a little bit. We're just on this treadmill and just, you know, racing and yeah, your time, you were, you were on the mile and you were at like a 12 minute mile before and you've been working on your, your conditioning and now you're able to do that mile in seven minutes and you, all of a sudden The thing just breaks in it and it kind of throws you off and you were able to see the world different and I guess that's where I'll take after this long dissertation of my wife. If she listened to this one, she's going to be pissed at me.
[00:15:14] Jeff: You've identified. What is truly essential in your life? And so what, yeah, what has been outside of fundraising, but more on a personal kind of level, what, what is the best thing that you're doing for yourself that, that COVID has given you that, that gift?
[00:15:33] Kel: Well, man, that's such a big question in such a great way. It's definitely getting to be in nature and getting to spend time with my husband. I just think like before COVID, we were going to the theater, we were seeing theater six out of seven nights a week. Sometimes I was seeing two shows a day.
[00:15:52] Kel: Sometimes it was eight shows a week. And then when COVID hit, I was taking a walk every day and this is when we were still living full time in Astoria, New York which is right outside. But, you know, it's, it's you know, obviously a borough of New York, but we were, I was able to walk every day and see just the little minor changes that were happening in nature every day as spring was starting to bloom in New York city.
[00:16:19] Kel: And I'd never seen that before. Like I'd never had the space to do that. Also, my husband and I were able to start having dinner together every night. And that, that was something that again, I was never doing, I was packing my meals. I was eating on the go. I was showing up every place, like exactly where I had to be in the exact moment.
[00:16:36] Kel: And so to just have that space like so many other people, we did rescue a dog during this time. So we have a little puppy, her name. Well, she's a year old now, but her name's Ella Bucklew. And so just being outside with Ella Bucklew every day is amazing. Yesterday I was out as the sun was setting and I got to see the sun setting on one side and then the moon was rising on the other side.
[00:16:59] Kel: And just to take that 15 minutes and be outside and in nature and nourishing myself in that way and taking care of this creature, my, my dog, and being able to nourish my marriage with my husband. That all feels really different and, really, really essential to us,
[00:17:19] Jeff: Man. I'm getting goosebumps again. Pasha. I, yeah, it's so, yeah, you said so many great things and I'm going to tie this in, but we mentioned it a couple of times already. I'm coaching a girl's high school team and the, we just played a home game and the bathrooms, the plumbing went out and so, and it went out, out, like stuff's coming out.
[00:17:43] Jeff: You can't even go. I mean, the smell is ripe. And so we had to go just outside and the, the game was at five 30. The boys were playing after us. And so we're out standing outside on the backside of the gym, but where the orientation is, the sun is getting ready to go down as the most beautiful sunset, you know, and you could just see it peeking.
[00:18:07] Jeff: You kind of had to take a couple steps over to the right and look around the building. And I just caught myself. I said, Hey, we gotta just stop. You know, we got to take this in, you know, here we take this, you know, smell and this other issues that are going on and it forces us to go into a different space.
[00:18:25] Jeff: And well, let's enjoy this space. And I love, you know how you said you never had this space, you know and And I feel like we always have this space, but we just, we make choices sometimes that don't allow us to see that there are opportunities always around us. And again, you, you know, getting off the treadmill and say, you know what, we want something different, you know, and who knows how your marriage was before, but it sure sounds like it's in such an amazing place now because you're choosing to make that space for what's truly essential.
[00:19:02] Jeff: And then I'm sure your your body just from like a nursing point of view, your stress levels are crazy down. Your thoughts are just so more clear. You're you're just happier. You're lighter on your feet. You're making good choices with your nutrition. I mean, it just kind of goes hand in hand. When we can get into that space and what a gift again, you've given yourself and your husband.
[00:19:25] Jeff: So I know my posture was getting fired up. This is our cue. When he does this, Kel, let's say, Hey, Jeff, be quiet, you know, close your mouth. And I got something to say. So partial. Drop the knowledge, baby.
[00:19:38] Mike: Actually Jeff's wife, Daisy, was just blowing up my phone, telling me to be quiet. No, I'm kidding.
[00:19:44] Mike: But Kel, the question I want to ask, now that you see all this, you've got this space, you're noticing these little things, you've got the dog and all that, which sounds amazing. Do you wish that before when you were a theater that you would have gone this route before? Or was the time just not right for you back then?
[00:20:03] Kel: It's a great question. Yeah, I feel like it all took the time it needed to take. I feel like I, I would not have met my husband. Otherwise, he's an actor. His name's Michael Grew. And so many important people in my life, most of my best friends and most of my business colleagues I've met all through my theater directing.
[00:20:22] Kel: So I think like I needed that to really play out in the way that it did. And I and who knows, you don't, who knows what the future holds. Like I may be back directing at some point, I don't know yet what, what will happen. I like to keep that option open. But yeah, I feel like it just took a really specific set of circumstances to lead me in this direction.
[00:20:44] Kel: And I really love all the time that I had. And I really love the time I have now in this slightly more transitional moment. And I'm excited to see how this grows moving forward.
[00:20:56] Jeff: Yeah, yeah, no, that's a great question. And, and yeah, it just goes back to being in these moments, you know, there's no woulda shoulda coulda, you know, you just gotta realize.
[00:21:05] Jeff: Hey, I'm right here right now. And this is the moment that I'm supposed to be having and if I can get into that space and I use that word a lot too. I love it. And especially I, I don't know anything again about acting anything. But I imagine if you're not in that space, I don't know how you would remember your lines.
[00:21:24] Jeff: And I just, I just think it would be a very difficult profession to be in if you're not mentally exactly where your feet are. And so yeah, so, so cool. Let's get into fundraising because I actually selfishly my nonprofit right now has 222 in the account. And I've done a bunch of fundraisers for other people.
[00:21:48] Jeff: But yeah, don't don't do anything to help my own nonprofit. And so let's talk about fundraising a little bit, you know, and and I know you work for donorly yeah, you can, I'll let you take, take it any which way you want. You can give that, that organization a plug, you can just get into fundraising.
[00:22:10] Jeff: Get into the telemarketing aspect, but you are the professional. And I'm, again, I'm taking so many notes and I'm ready for this right now. Cause I need some money coming in for our nonprofit.
[00:22:21] Kel: Sure. We can totally, we have all of those conversations, Jeff. Yeah, so I work for an organization, a company called Donorly that was founded by a woman named Sandra Davis.
[00:22:31] Kel: Who's been my colleague for seven years at this point we met through a organization where we were both working called MCC theater. And I love working with Donorly. They're really focused on, I think this is kind of where. Your org falls Jeff in the small to medium sized organizations. And so the idea is to find like, what are the gaps?
[00:22:53] Kel: Like, what are, what are the things that the particular organization needs help with and how can we as like a collective of professionals really help make that happen? And so it was actually founded because Sandra really felt like smaller organizations. Could really use some help with data and with research and that those were you know, tools that weren't necessarily being utilized by smaller organizations.
[00:23:17] Kel: And so how to get some of these tools to organizations that don't necessarily have all of the financial resources of larger organizations. So we do that. We help with things that works tend to think are boring, but are really important in terms, terms of CRM, which is customer relationship. I'm like forgetting what CRM stands for right now.
[00:23:37] Kel: And super embarrassed about it. So, you know, doing that kind of work and also working as interim staffing with slightly larger orgs that need that help and grant writing. And you know, what you mentioned, what I do is I consider myself to be an outbound fundraising expert.
[00:23:53] Kel: And basically what that means is that comes out of my time doing tele fundraising, I don't really see it quite as that anymore. Like to me, when I hear the term tele fundraising. It leads me in that direction that you went off like telemarketing and I think about people in a basement. And you know, I'm imagining Alec Baldwin yelling coffee is for closers and it's all about the hard sell against like, and that's the exact opposite of what I do.
[00:24:18] Kel: In my 20s I did work in a room that was a little bit more in that direction, but everything I do now is really coming from a more holistic, intentional place of how are we really leading from a place that is specific and authentic and candid and vulnerable and all of that is really challenging to do, as you know, as a fundraiser, but is truly an essential to being a fundraiser.
[00:24:42] Kel: So yeah, so that's where I kind of come in. So I think, yes, it sounds like there's some work to be done if you're feeling like you need to be raising some, some money for your organization. And there's lots of ways to do that. But the first thing I would, I would say is like, you know, in terms of people who have supported you in the past, I think that's a really good place to go back to is like, what can you do to strengthen some of those relationships?
[00:25:07] Kel: Of people who've been involved in the past or who've shown an interest in the past. Obviously there's a research element that can come into play with that, but I would really start with a place of , relationships and connections being like very elemental about it.
[00:25:23] Jeff: No, I love that. What other insight would you have of, you know, again, we'll go back to a basketball analogy, but read the, you know, and say you're talking to somebody or you're at a networking event and you just realize, all right, this, This, this is not going the way that I thought it was going, kind of knowing how to cut ties, perhaps, or a new opportunity.
[00:25:52] Jeff: And then also the part, part B of that, I think, and I don't have a problem with this because I've been doing this a long time. And I know that, that every no is one step closer to a yes, but I think one thing that really holds people back from asking for support or asking for help, asking for donations is the fear of rejection, but maybe we'll go there first learn how to kind of cut ties, so to say.
[00:26:20] Kel: Sure. You know, I want to go even a step back if that's okay with you about that. No. I think something that I'm always curious to do is kind of to untangle that. No. And what is actually in that? No. Like, I don't necessarily right away. Look at that as like a super binary of like, oh, they said no. So the conversation is over.
[00:26:39] Kel: Like the no is information. And so I'm curious to know more about that. I'm curious to know if that no is like no for now. If that is like check back in, is it okay if I check back in near the end of our fiscal year? Or if that no, you know, is that no contingent on something personal that's potentially shifting? Is that no, coming from a place that's like specific about the organization that like something went something went off in terms of the relationship with the organization. And then obviously I would have curiosity of what that was like, whether or not that relationship is, able to be repaired or not, but what, what, what went off the tracks with that?
[00:27:18] Kel: So I'm always curious about a no about like, what does that no mean? And, and what can we learn from that? And also, is that a forever no, or is that a for now? No. So I'm always looking at, it's like, just kind of trying to like, open up that a little bit, because I even think like saying no, is also vulnerable.
[00:27:36] Kel: So I'm curious. I'm like, thank you for just being straightforward with me or with us about that. And then seeing if there's some more conversation to learn about that no. But to your point about if it doesn't feel right. Like if there's something that's going on in terms of like your inner compass in terms of like, this isn't feeling like the right move that there's, there's some kind of red flags.
[00:28:00] Kel: Your intuition is telling you like this person's maybe their values don't feel aligned with yours. I think that that's also something to really clock for yourself, like to give your intuition that space. And so maybe gracefully detached from that conversation, and then check in with some colleagues or, you know, whomever else might also know that person and say, Hey, I was getting this feeling is this something that you know reads align with what how you know them to be and what does that feel like to you because I also think like it is important it is all about relationships and getting resources, getting support from someone who's not necessarily in line if you're not. You should do the due diligence and make sure that those are people that you actually want to be in collaboration with as far as your work is concerned.
[00:28:45] Jeff: Yeah. And that's the key thing I think is, is want to be in collaboration with and just make sure your values are lining up. No, those are great. Great tips. I want to jump back because I'm just fascinated not having any knowledge. And I know you mentioned it in what you do, but leading a rehearsal room. Yeah. What's, what's that like and what does that even mean?
[00:29:10] Kel: Yeah, it's very confusing. So I, I would joke, you know, as a theater director that very frequently, even people who work within theater, I didn't necessarily always feel like they understood what what a theater director does. So, and this is a little visual, I'm going to try to figure out a way to verbally explain it to people who are just listening.
[00:29:29] Kel: But basically I look at, the director as being in a, in the middle of a triangle and there's three points to that triangle. So the first point is the script and the playwright. And then the second is all of the design elements and also the actors, everything that's like bringing to live what's on the page. And then the third is the audience. And so the director exists in this ephemeral place between those three items of like, how are they all connecting to one another? And so that's really at the end of the day is really about working with people and understanding humans and understanding being able to always watch a play from like for the first time, even though you've seen it hundreds of times now of like, what is somebody getting from this, if they're seeing it from the first time.
[00:30:15] Kel: And again, when it comes to larger theme of what we're talking about, looking at people as individuals is like, what's the feedback that I can offer? What's the notes I can offer to the writer, to the actors, to the designers, to like really bring the best work together and to bring it together in the most cohesive way.
[00:30:34] Kel: So that's what I'm always thinking about when I'm Coaching people on how to be fundraisers is again, like listening to what they're saying. So to me, it's just interesting, Jeff, like that you're saying, like coming to that moment of like feeling like you're talking to somebody and not feeling like it's the right fit.
[00:30:50] Kel: Like to me, that told me a lot about how you're already being intentional about who you want to be in collaboration with. And so that was telling me some things that, you know, if I were coaching you, I would kind of move in that direction of like, how to listen to your intuition. Cause it's obviously there in a really strong way along with your values.
[00:31:07] Kel: So, yeah, so that's how it just, it becomes just how I communicate and how I collaborate. And I, you know, it's just now it's part of my DNA. You know, when I go into bringing my work into this not for profit realm and into coaching people on raising money, raising capital, it's, it's from that place.
[00:31:27] Jeff: Man, when you said a whole bunch right there and I'm going to take one piece that really spoke to me and, and gave me goosebumps to be honest it's seeing it for the first time, you know, and, and I think when, I'm listening to you and listening to how you've been on that treadmill and listening to how you might watch the same show over and over and over again. And then to hear, you know, now how you've gained an expertise, you've, you've got into this space. Of being able to see something that you've seen again, who knows how many times, but you're looking through this lens of seeing it for the very first time.
[00:32:12] Jeff: And obviously, you know, you're looking at so many different components with, you know, through that lens, to enhance the work that everybody else is doing, but that's the, that's the essential ingredient, you know, that you're bringing that, that is like your true value of why people would seek out Kel, because this is what you bring.
[00:32:35] Jeff: And, and I got a little bit of a dumb question. You said it was part of your DNA and like, I know a little bit of, but, but how did you, how did you do that? You know, I don't even know if you're following what I'm, what I'm asking.
[00:32:48] Kel: I mean, I just think, I think it's a combination of, of what I said to you about, you know, this way that I had to play a different part in different moments of my life, even in the two houses I was a part of as a kid.
[00:33:01] Kel: I think that just kind of heightened my empathy and my awareness of self and of how I interact in different, areas and how different people interact with me, given the circumstances. And I just think it's a 10, 000 hours thing, right? Is like, I simultaneously was getting my 10, 000 hours as a director collaborating with other theater artists while I was getting 10, 000 hours of learning how to fundraise and have those conversations.
[00:33:27] Kel: And I was developing in my twenties and into my thirties. I was doing both of those things and I was working really hard at both of them almost every day. So they really, those two skills grew at the same time and, and informed one another.
[00:33:43] Mike: I got a question and doing some research on you back to your theater days. And you had a long list of things you did in theater days. And when I was looking up, see a lot of them had to do with like social issues and you were tackling some of those subjects. And I was kind of wondering if that's how you like picked your projects. On those kind of issues. And also when you're fundraising now for nonprofits, are you doing the same things? Are you working with the ones that you believe in or that you like the cause that they're for?
[00:34:13] Kel: Yeah, it's a great question, Mike. I mean, yeah, I, I tried to, and sometimes I was more successful at it than others in my directing career, but I did really try as much as possible to pick work that not only I always liked, I always live from a place of like, I wanted to work on things that had unanswerable questions to me.
[00:34:32] Kel: And like the end, and the idea of social justice, even before I knew that phrase years ago like felt important to me of what work am I choosing and I yeah, I think that that's always been a part of it. Yeah, absolutely. I think in terms of the not for profits that I work with or even working with individuals I'm always thinking about that.
[00:34:56] Kel: I'm thinking about who shares, and I have like, very, I would say there's, there's a pretty broad umbrella under which this falls, but in terms of like, I am working very hard in my life to lead from a place that's anti racist and that's where I live. And so that, that feels like kind of at the core and social justice at the core of the work that I'm trying to do.
[00:35:19] Kel: And like, that's a lifelong commitment to me as far as I'm concerned that I'm just going to continue to be better at and work to be better at, but yeah, definitely. It's definitely comes into play in terms of mission and values in terms of the people that I'm working with.
[00:35:35] Jeff: Well, congrats on all that. And we're at just a great point to wrap this show up. It's been incredible, but we always, we always end with kind of the legacy, and you've just mentioned it a little bit, but there's a great quote by John Alston that says, the only thing you take with you when you're gone is what you leave behind. And I don't want to get morbid with you, but it's fast forward, you know, 60 years, you've had an incredible life. You've eaten lots of lobster. You've hosted Mike and I and we'll throw a foot in our, our, our other great friend. And you've done so much great work to help so many people you're surrounded by everybody that loves you and you're ready to take your last breath. You know, what is it that you want those people to feel that you've left behind by their interactions they're witnessing your life.
[00:36:32] Kel: I mean, I want there to be joy, I think. I mean, I think about that as I love this island that I now live on for most of the time. And it's a lot of older people who live on this island. And yeah, without getting too morbid, but yeah, the memorial services for people who pass I've only been to a couple of them, but they really are from a place that is about community and about joy and about legacy.
[00:36:59] Kel: And so that's what I want. I want to create for the people that I'm closest to, I want to create like celebratory moments where we all feel loved and we all feel taken care of. And I just hope that I continue to be a better version of myself and share that in the gifts of, you know, what I'm sharing with the rest of the world and that not for profits and individuals who are passionate about, you know, what they're trying to raise money towards that I'm able to continue to help them do that.
[00:37:27] Jeff: Man, this was a good one. Listeners Ooh, yeah, had goosebumps several times through this episode. Again, it's been another great one on life's essential ingredients, been out in Maine with Kel Haney. Again, you can find her K E L H A N E Y. com. And if you're a nonprofit like me, I'm definitely gonna be following up and seeing what I can do to bring in a few shackles so we can continue to bring joy and love and pizza, Kel.
[00:37:57] Jeff: So you invited Mike and I out to Maine for some lobster. Pizza is not as fancy but we're close to Napa and so we can combine some nice drinks. But we'd love to have you and your husband out to Northern California. For a good sit down dinner and making your own pizza. So any comments that you have that you want to share with the listeners.
[00:38:20] Kel: Oh, I just want to thank you so much for having me today, Jeff and Mike. And yeah, I'll also just give an extra plug to Donorly. com. That's the consulting firm that I work with. If you want to do a 30 minute consultation and just talk about your not for profits, myself and my colleagues there would be more than happy to have a conversation with any of you, obviously starting with C4, but any, anyone else.
[00:38:42] Jeff: Yes. Yes. I love it. I love it. Pashito, you got any closing remarks?
[00:38:46] Mike: Yeah. I just want to thank Kel. I appreciate it. I can really taste that lobster. I can't wait. It's come out. We get some pizza going also, but for all the listeners out there, number one, thank you.
[00:38:58] Mike: Number two, if you can watch this as soon as Kel shows up, she smiles, man. I just felt that ease. I appreciate it. You have a way of just making everyone feel good. So thank you so much and keep up your great work. We appreciate it.
[00:39:10] Jeff: Thank you. All right. Listeners. We just got to say boom, baby. That just happened. We out.